Humblest home looking unaffordable

By COLLEEN STONE

Raise your hand if you're a young person living in Portland and one of these scenarios applies to you:

1. You feel physical pain and/or cry as you write your rent check each month.

2. You sometimes think about buying real estate. While checking the ads, you wonder who can afford the homes you see and conclude that it's definitely not you.

3. After experiencing one of the former two scenarios, you have a serious case of "should-I-stay or should-I-go-now" syndrome.

You're not alone. Someone named Jordan had this to say on MaineToday.com about the latest Portland condo proposal: "However difficult it is to find affordable housing in this city I now call 'home,' I'm determined to make it work. But I don't see how that's possible when the only options provided are out of reach for the average person. Is the city catering to a population that doesn't exist in Portland?"

Who are these people that make up the population Jordan is convinced doesn't exist? People who can afford a $5 million condo in Portland — the going rate for the most expensive units in the proposed Westin hotel/condo development on the East End.

No, you aren't due for an eye replacement. You read that right.

Condos for $5 million in Portland. Maine. That's the one on Planet Earth, in case there's any confusion.

To be fair, the units start at $550,000, a relative bargain. Kind of puts that whole "affordable housing" thing into perspective, doesn't it?

There's no denying that Portland is a desirable place to live. As the state's largest, most-happening city, it's especially attractive to young people. Yours truly was lured here from a certain state just to the south after being seduced by its brick sidewalks, working port, vibrant art scene and great restaurants and pubs.

But as they say, if you want to play, you've got to pay.

And pay we do in Portland, where rents on modest apartments can eclipse mortgage payments on homes in surrounding towns. Where those who dream of paying a mortgage instead of rent (dare to dream!) keep renting because the only homes available within a reasonable price range have "lots of potential" (read: need a wrecking ball and a buyer with a contractor's license).

On MaineToday.com, people making comments essentially told those lamenting the high price of housing in Portland: Suck it up! It's capitalism at work, the free market doing its thing! If the demand weren't there, these developments wouldn't be sprouting up like so many mushrooms on your lawn after a month of rain.

Do you have something against America?

So, I'm exaggerating a bit about the responses. But what the folks who boasted online — about how they were able to work hard, save up and buy a modest house when they were 29 — forget is that things have changed a lot in the past 30 years here. Heck, they've changed a lot in the past five years.

Case in point: When I told one man I was moving to Portland two years ago, he asked me why I'd want to move to "that dump."

First I worried that I might have been blinded by the brick and missed the blight. Then I asked when he last visited. It had been about 15 years since his last visit. Phew!

And there's the rub: As a place becomes more attractive to live, the cost of living goes up. And Portland is in a unique predicament, since unlike a lot of cities where the cost of living is also high, the job market isn't as strong.

Couple that with the fact that the real estate market has been driven by people who have made their money elsewhere, making the market even more out of whack with the local reality, and you've got a recipe for young people renting for life.

Or worse, going elsewhere.

It's one of the options a poster on MaineToday.com named Katie is considering: "Being one of the 'younger' people currently living in Portland, it would be great if there were more opportunities for affordable housing to buy anywhere in Maine, but to also be able to stay in Portland. In order to find housing that I can really afford I have to move almost an hour out of Portland or to another state, and I am leaning towards the latter."

Recent headlines say the market is softening and that it's a buyers' market. But for a lot of young people, the market in Portland would have to be closer to melting to be affordable. A cashmere sweater marked down from $400 to $200 is cheaper, but it's no bargain.

I was scanning real estate ads online recently when I thought I'd hit the jackpot. A cute two-bedroom home with a nice yard in Portland for a reasonable price. Could it be? Then I looked closer: Poland.

Hmm.

I'd keep looking but I've got a rent check to write.